Will I Have Friends Again?

The beauty of this blog is to share the joys AND the struggles, so here it goes…

Living remotely is difficult. There is no way around it. Especially for a woman. Women need social interaction with other women, it is the way God made us. We like to love, and laugh, and bond, and cry together. Women relationships, when blessed by God, are a beautiful thing. I know, because I have four beautiful sisters.

Yet, for this time in my life God has appointed a season of loneliness for me. Of course I have John and the girls and they keep me busy and company, but if you are a woman reading this, then you know what I mean when I say that it would be lovely to have a heart to heart connection with another woman here. I have the ladies bible study here and I feel that I am starting to form a meaningful relationship with one woman, but it’s difficult to make friends with people a completely different culture and for most, a different belief system.

Then I have the interesting dynamic of having teams here from the states. I relish those times especially if there are women on the team my age and stage. Even so, teams come and go and I make friends for a week and then say goodbye to them. And so the question that is in my mind, “Will I have friends again?” I mean the way I used to have them? Girls nights, and a heart to heart connection with someone that lives close to me?

I pray that I will, but for now Lord, fill me up, so I can show myself friendly.

14 thoughts on “Will I Have Friends Again?

  1. Ma

    Hmmm do you think I might understand, 7 years I lived like that, only I started w/no friendship even in the village, just me and 2 other men. You think. . . You’re in my prayers, I’m sorry that I’m not there for you, it kills me not to be, but obviously I don’t make the plans we know who does though! Trust in Him. You’ll be surprised as to what God does provide in friendships through the women who come. That was how I got thru it. Love ya

  2. Valerie Wilson

    Ecclesiastes 3:1
    “For everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven”

    Melissa, you will most definitely have your girl friends again, I have no doubt. Love you!

  3. I know I’m a guy, but I have a wife, 4 daughters, and two female dogs, and I do understand 🙂 Praying for you this morning.

  4. Caroline P.

    I understand how you feel, Mel, and I empathize with you. I know how important it is to have other women at your age and stage. Lifting you up in prayer.

    Mel Reply:

    Thank you Caroline for your e-mail. I felt your heart. Love you!

  5. Maureen Read

    The most lonely times of my life were when I drew closest to God. Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. James 4:4

    Prayers, Maureen

  6. Darlene Millican

    Yes, we girls DO understand, Mel. We’ve all had those times. Being a pastor’s wife, it’s hard to have a “special” friend in the church & leave some out. Most of my church friends, I choose because THEY need a friend. I do have some friends outside the church, but in life I’ve learned there are really very few that we can be that close to. I think of Jesus. He really only had 3 close friends. Anyway, we all have those times, but being in a foreign country would make it even more difficult. I try to write all our missionaries often because I know they are all in the same position you’re in.
    Stay busy & draw close to HIM.
    “Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart, & He will direct your path.”
    We have to stop & count our many blessings, too. I pray for you so often.

  7. Donna Chapman

    I so appreciate your vulnerability and pray for you DC Girl!

  8. Rachael

    Oh, Mel… I get it… I wish I had any words to give you, but all I can say is I’m with you in heart. I have never been so lonely in my life. I will lift you up, my sister. I miss you so much. I thank God for you, and only wish we could cook dinner together.

  9. Eric

    Kris and I just had a discussion about wishing we still had you and John here with us. And then the conversation led to, “I wonder if they are still open to possibly opening a school in Belize?” I finish my doctorate hopefully this next year and we still consider coming to join you should God lead. Until we find the answer, we love and are praying for you both.

  10. Katie O

    I so enjoyed the time spent with you a few weeks back. You are full of friendliness and so easy to connect with. Thank you for your willingness to open yourself up, knowing that we would be leaving after a short week. While I don’t know what is like to be without those special friendships, I know their incredible value to me as a wife and a mom. Praying that God uniquely meets those needs until you have that special heart to heart connection with someone who lives near you. BIG HUGS!!

  11. Mel, thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing your journey. Brian

  12. Sarah

    Oh Mel. That makes me hurt for you. I completely understand where you’re at too. God calls us to ministry and I think we end up being tougher stuff for it. Doesn’t mean that there is any less desire for those good things we must give up along the way. I will pray for you on this and hopefully something will come about soon. Or you’ll have to wait. Either way, I feel for you.

  13. You don’t know me, although you have met my better half. I understand the loneliness of living in a foreign land without a friend. The aching in the heart for someone to share life with. Lifting this need up to the Lord right now on your behalf, that He would provide you with exactly what you need. I know that He will – He is good!

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