I used to think that I worked well under stress. I don’t know how I thought that, maybe it is because I have always wanted to believe and hope and wish that this trait would be mine. Well, I’m writing here today to tell you what some people closest to me already know and I am just now realizing. I am not good under stress.
Then why Lord do you feel that this particular missionary position is right for me? And why are all of my faults revealed to me when under stress? Can you give me a break from revealing to me just how HUMAN I am? Can’t you let me think that I have at least some things under control?
“No.”
The Lord is asking me and sometimes forcing me me to grow. As I grow I can feel him prune the bad spots. Oh it’s painful at times. Being snipped and snapped and pinched. But He MUST do it. God is like a parent who desires to see me thrive, He desires that I learn to adapt and rely on Him, and the only way that I will learn is if He teaches me. I suppose He thought that a team of forty people is a great classroom. God has been showing me so many things about my character and attitude that need to be changed so that I can be even more effective. The only thing is, IT STINGS LIKE A SPANKING.
However, the most encouraging thing is that He still finds me worthy and faithful enough to spank and prune. He still looks at me as His precious child, and for that, I am thankful.
I pray that it only takes me one time to learn my lessons ;-).
I wish I could tell you it only takes one time. Unfortunately Mel, if it took only one time, then what would the need be to have a gardener such as the Almighty One to teach and prune you!. You will get better with time, one step at a time! Rest in Him, give Him your burdens and let Him carry them. Above all show love at all times and compassion, everyone that comes thru our doors is not exactly where we expect them to be, and God is using all of you there, John, Basil and you to show them Christ’s character qualities, not only with the team but with each other as well!!!!
Know that I’m praying and He is in control! Have a fabulous week! Blesssings, prayer and lots of love, Ma
I love this entry, Melissa. In spite of the fact that God is pruning you, there is much evidence that some wonderful fruit is growing as well. :0)
Mel, you will be learning for the rest of your life. I too like to think I am patient, but just the trip home on Monday revealed my own pride and impatience. We were coming from Dublin Ireland, where we had a huge family reunion. Wonderful time and blessed in many ways. Anyway back to the stress. I wanted to kick some of the security people! Hmmm. Be kind, tenderhearted, forgiving… as Christ forgave you. Prayers for you and yours.
Still working on me too! Guess where he reveals gaps in my life most of the time. You guessed it, as I lead short term mission trips.
I love that you are willing to be transparent and teachable.
We love you guy’s!!
I’m glad you understand God’s purposes in all of this and why it is necessary—-it does somehow make it easier when we know it is motivated by His love and wisdom. Someone said, “God grinds the axe He intends to use.” Grinding isn’t pleasant, but you are being used, and not just sitting on a shelf! “…and when I am tried and purified, I shall come forth as gold.” My silver souvenir spoons looked ghastly until I polished them. Now they shine and are beautiful! I don’t like to be “polished” either, but when the Lord is finished, the results will be out of this world. 🙂