What’s Left of Me

Once again, on a Sunday, I find myself sorting through my possessions to make the decision on what I need to consign. Only this time it’s my clothes, not my shoes. Last week, I made a significant dent in my clothing but not enough. As more clothes got washed and I sorted through my winter items I started to make another “consign” pile.

I like to tell a story when I wear my clothes. I am not afraid to take risks with clothing. The consequence of my style of clothing is that sometimes I have “fashion don’ts”. Those times do not bother me, I just move on. As I sift through my clothing it is this particular type of clothing that I am getting rid of. Does “trendy” even mean anything to me anymore. Can I be trendy in Belize? Does it even matter? Does it? Why is it so hard to let that dress slip out of my hand and into the pile of clothing ready to be consigned? Why do I look so longingly at a skirt in the pile that I’ve only worn a handful of times? Frankly, it makes me frustrated that I care, but I do.

Do these clothes on the floor define me? Maybe at one time I thought they did. Maybe putting on that silk blouse and ruffled skirt made me feel important. Why? I have no idea, other than the fact that I like to shop and have nice things. Just like the shoes, I find myself feeling vulnerable, and then ashamed that a few pieces of cloth have the power to make me feel that way.

Please don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that nice clothes and shoes are bad. God blessed many people in the bible with wealth and fine things, and continues to bless Christians today. What I’m talking about now, in this blog, is what is going on in me, at this very moment; it’s about what God is working on in my heart. If I get rid of every single piece of clothing that once defined me as an “individual” then, what’s left?

What’s left is still that lump of clay that God has been working on ever since my conception. “He is the potter, I am the clay.” Only I’m not a pot… yet. I think that God is still getting my clay soft and pliable. It’s getting there, but there are some stiff patches that He is trying to work out. As painful and tough as it sometimes seems, it’s also gentle. The Lord grants me grace never ending. I’m sure that what God is trying to teach me is that it’s ok if there is nothing left of me as long as I look more like Him. Then, I say “Mold me Lord.”

Please take the time today to praise the Lord for the increase in our support.

5 thoughts on “What’s Left of Me

  1. Ma

    Mel, I think that God is molding you into a vase, not a pot! I think that He has much more in store for you and will be refining you to be the most beautiful vase that we can ever imagine! In fact I’m sure of it. I as you know have gone thru this process and know exactly how you feel. I am very proud of all that you are becoming and can’t wait to see how God will continue to refine me and you together on the mission field!!!

    Love and prayers are yours!

  2. Mom

    It is wonderful to see you growing and maturing as you yield to the Lord’s loving hand. Many times we don’t take the time to ponder and evaluate, as you are, and miss out on these opportunities to grow. It is all part of that necessary preparation—You’re getting there. 🙂 We praise God for what He is doing in and through all of you. Thanks for the precious video of Evangeline.

  3. Caroline P.

    We are so thankful for you and John who are *willing* to be molded by God for His service. This post was so honest, Mel. Thanks for sharing.

    And WOW–Does that say 83%?! Yay! Praise God!

    Mel Reply:

    It DOES say 83% Yay! PTL!

  4. Brian Stankich

    Mel, it’s great that you are using this time to dig deeper. Praise God for His faithfulness in drawing near to you and making you more like Christ.

Comments are closed.