I have a personal journal. I’ve been meaning to write in it since the birth but I have not been able to. I opened it up curious to see what my thoughts were before the birth and this is what I found:
‘Twas the night before Malachi’s birth, and I’m all excited and nervous. I know that the Lord will get me through! If not, I will be in heaven. But I would like to live through this birth. LOL. I am so tired. I am feeling anxious to hold my baby in my arms. Lord, I love you! Thank you for giving me this beautiful gift of life! I’m so thrilled to finally meet him tomorrow! It will be so neat. I praise you Lord for who you are and ALL you have done. I think of you giving YOUR son up. How hard that would be for me. I love you! In Jesus name I pray, AMEN!
You can see how nervous I was about the operation and about something going wrong with me during the c-section. I never had a doubt in my mind that Malachi would be healthy. I was not worried about him. Then my thoughts turned to how difficult it would be to do what God did, giving up Jesus. At the time I remember thinking it was an interesting thought to be having at that moment. Now reading back, I see that God was preparing my heart. He was preparing me to put Malachi in God’s hands. God has been so constant and steady with us these past four days. He is so patient and loving. There have been times I’ve been snippy and rude to those I love and yet, I feel like God has just been stroking my hair. I’ve seen Malachi react so positively toward the scripture I have been saying to him. Gods word is alive and active, make no mistake about that my friends. Even to a little baby. Today I thought of this song:
And I’ll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I’ve cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
Mel, I am praying for you and Malachi. Thank you for your vulnerability in sharing your journal… very inspiring. I know this is a tough time for you guys, but I also can see that your faith in an awesome God is strong! Karen
Our ladies Bible Study prayed for little Malachi and both you and John. Keep trusting in the only one who is worthy of our trust. He’s there for you.
Yes, we are praying & we prayed at my Bible study today also. Thanks for sharing your journal. Answered prayers were part of our study today. PTL
God is very near! PTL
Mel, Amy Grants song “Better than a Hallelujah” comes to mind. She says, ” we pour out our miseries and God just hears a melody “. You can be sure that He hears you and is in control. Praying for each of you.