Are missionaries, or ministry workers for that matter, allowed to be depressed? I think at one point in my life I thought that missionaries were all fulfilling their God-given dream and if something bad happened they said, “The joy of the Lord is my strength”, bucked up, and moved on. I know better now. Certainly the joy of the Lord is strengthening, but claiming it and really living it is harder than I imagined here.
I have never been one to hide our ups and downs here. Many have been shareable, however there are some that have had to remain personal. The big picture of things that have saddened us have at times been extremely overwhelming. Yet, God has been so faithful to us. So faithful. Yet, at times I still question the ultimate reasons for everything that has happened. Do you ever find yourself in that struggle? This is one of those times for me. I must force myself to remember that God has NEVER let me down. EVER.
“My yolk is easy and my burden is light.” Yes, Lord, that we will take this verse and live it! in this verse God never says He will take away the yolk and the burden. It’s still there, He just says it’s easy and light. Interesting isn’t it? At times we expect God to take our problems and solve them, but He does not solve them as much as He walks through them with us. We are at this point right now where we have a choice to carry the burden ourselves or allow Christ to make it easier and lighter. Oh, that we would do the later! Please Lord, help us to trust fully in you and your sovereignty!
Last night John prayed, “Restore us Lord.” Our hearts, our minds, our bodies, desperately need restoration. Will you pray with us?
We pray that you will restore us. Mount us up on wings of eagles, let us keep running and not grow weary, let us walk and not faint. Help us to find our joy in you alone. Let us not give into the enemy who wants us to fall into sadness and depression, instead, drive the enemy far away from us. Renew us. Renew our hearts and minds. We want to be pleasing to you Lord. We want to come through this first year as missionaries and give you all the praise. Help us to let go of the reigns that we so tightly want to hold onto. Continue to call us to be perfect as you are perfect. And in the meantime, thank you for your mercy that I know you will and have poured out abundantly to us. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.