I used to think that I worked well under stress. I don’t know how I thought that, maybe it is because I have always wanted to believe and hope and wish that this trait would be mine. Well, I’m writing here today to tell you what some people closest to me already know and I am just now realizing. I am not good under stress.
Then why Lord do you feel that this particular missionary position is right for me? And why are all of my faults revealed to me when under stress? Can you give me a break from revealing to me just how HUMAN I am? Can’t you let me think that I have at least some things under control?
The Lord is asking me and sometimes forcing me me to grow. As I grow I can feel him prune the bad spots. Oh it’s painful at times. Being snipped and snapped and pinched. But He MUST do it. God is like a parent who desires to see me thrive, He desires that I learn to adapt and rely on Him, and the only way that I will learn is if He teaches me. I suppose He thought that a team of forty people is a great classroom. God has been showing me so many things about my character and attitude that need to be changed so that I can be even more effective. The only thing is, IT STINGS LIKE A SPANKING.
However, the most encouraging thing is that He still finds me worthy and faithful enough to spank and prune. He still looks at me as His precious child, and for that, I am thankful.
I pray that it only takes me one time to learn my lessons ;-).